Tell Me No Lies

RD reads It-Takes-One-Tango-Winifred-M-Reilly
It Takes One to Tango
April 6, 2020
RD reads Flow The Psychology of Optimal Experience
Flow
April 8, 2020

How to Stop Lying to your Partner - and Yourself - in the 4 stages of marriage.

By Drs Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson.


T his is a penetrating and fearless book! Every time I pick it up I am faced with an additional understanding of my own behaviour and the compromises I make and have made. My commitment is to tell the truth - or at least not to lie, following Jordan Peterson.

One of my Insights: “Who is lying? Truth in a relationship”. Tell Me No Lies is a guidebook for this commitment.
I have met both Peter and Ellyn and spent 3 days with them for a residential workshop in California in 2018. Their authenticity is impressive. They are generous and committed - to each other, and to their work with couples. They are clearly motivated by love - ultimately love of mankind. They are dedicated to making a difference.

The Couples Institute is distinguished by the Developmental Model as applied to the growth of the relationship itself, as well as both partners. An understanding of this led me to have multiple useful insights into why any couple has particular conflicts.

E veryone lies; parents to children, politicians to constituents, and we lie to our spouses. It is easy to underestimate the power that lies - even seemingly harmless ones - can wield in your relationship. Tell me no Lies explores the complexity of honesty versus deception in a relationship and reveal the many reasons we lie.

This book offers a new way to think about truth and deception. It will help you understand the dynamics of your marriage in the context of the marital stages. When you identify your marital stage, you can overcome the barriers to honesty and move to a happier and more fulfilling marriage.

> In the Honeymoon stage, we refuse to acknowledge any problems and lie to protect this perfect picture.

> In Emerging Differences, we might want to tell each-other home truths which are an exaggeration of our differences.

> In the Freedom stage, we can get intoxicated with our independence - marital anarchy ensues if the togetherness aspect is lost in the explorations of freedom.

> Together as Two is a hard-won stage, marked by transparency and trust.

This is a handbook for all ages and stages of relationship.