repairs

December 25, 2017
Pick up the “dropped stitches” of relationship
Making repairs, going back to tend to the dropped stitches/opportunities, is ALWAYS worthwhile, although it is harder the further back in the work they are. The sooner you spot the dropped stitches, the more accurately you name them, the earlier both you and your partner pick up the stitch, the sooner your relationship will be back knitting up a storm. It is truly disappointing when I have to spend a lot of time going back over my work to find the problem and correct it. But pretending nothing is wrong will not make the dropped stitch go away.  Denial never works.  Sooner or later the flaw in your relationship will show up.  Not only that, it will get bigger over time if it is not corrected.
June 21, 2018
Repair the cracks with gold
Making good repairs, and celebrating them, is what brings the gold, a substance of high value, into your relationship. Also, making repairs with gold makes your relationship unique.  Furthermore, your relationship is more valuable than it was before the rupture and repair. Like kintsugi, making these fine repairs is an art, a craft and a skill.
September 12, 2018
What causes relationship failure?
Couples often ask how many serious ruptures does it take before their relationship is beyond repair. In other words, when is it time to give up? Clearly they are in despair. The answer to this is not straight forward, and here is an analogy to demonstrate the complexities of such a situation.

Say you have a garden, with a patch of lawn/turf that gets a lot of traffic. (This is the vulnerable part of your relationship.) The kids take a shortcut on the way to the front door.  You take a shortcut on the way to the car.  The dog has a favourite circuit of the yard, which includes that particular patch of grass. The habits of life create a lot of wear-and-tear for that patch.