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February 21, 2018
Want to change, but don’t know how? Here are the steps.
This website is all about change. Because you are here I acknowledge that you want to change - in yourself, and in your relationship. The Insights from the Relationship Doctor are instruments of change. Knowing the 6 stages of change can help you make change. From pre-contemplation, to contemplation, through determination to action, then winding back to relapse, finally arriving at commitment and maintenance. Maintenance is the evidence of your commitment. Knowing the stages of change prepares you for setbacks. Maintenance is when the commitment sticks. Maintenance is the boring bit where you actually show up day after day, achieving what you set out to do. It is a new habit. You have won your change!
June 26, 2018
Decision-making in relationships
It took me decades to work out the root cause of many miscommunications based on decision-making for a couple. When you are going through the decision-making process for yourself this does confusion does not arise. So it can be puzzling that something that is perfectly easy on your own becomes loaded with difficulty with your loved one. It’s about differences in decision-making styles. When you progress through decision-making stages very quickly, you might imagine that your partner is at the promise/commitment stage, when they are really still verbalising daydreams. You can check: “Is that a promise or a day dream?” Or head off any confusion by clarifying, “This is just a daydream. No promises.”