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December 19, 2017
Managing conflict with your partner
Conflict is like exercise, and both conflict and exercise lead to growth. Too much conflict and you and the relationship will be hobbling along, disabled by the conflict.  Not enough and you will stagnate. Just enough, and you will be growing, or at your "growth edge." A well-managed exercise programme is like well-managed relationship conflict.  You will grow, and be better able to act when further exercise (or conflict) demands are on you.
February 21, 2018
Want to change, but don’t know how? Here are the steps.
This website is all about change. Because you are here I acknowledge that you want to change - in yourself, and in your relationship. The Insights from the Relationship Doctor are instruments of change. Knowing the 6 stages of change can help you make change. From pre-contemplation, to contemplation, through determination to action, then winding back to relapse, finally arriving at commitment and maintenance. Maintenance is the evidence of your commitment. Knowing the stages of change prepares you for setbacks. Maintenance is when the commitment sticks. Maintenance is the boring bit where you actually show up day after day, achieving what you set out to do. It is a new habit. You have won your change!
March 3, 2018
When distraction stops a fight
Distraction during an argument can halt a regrettable escalation. We settle, regroup, and get the prefrontal cortex to run the show. An Uber driver in Melbourne has the console between the back seats filled with Tic Tac containers. When a couple are arguing during the drive, he says, “Open the console!” Laughter. Wow! It takes real presence of mind to know when you or your partner need a distraction during a fight. Learn to know when you are flipping your lid. Learn to employ a soothing and calming behaviour rather than escalate that fight.
March 11, 2018
Good relationships are good for your health
Build good relationships through skilful relationship advice. Learn the secrets, principles and strategies that enable you to build healthy, happy, rewarding and lasting relationships. Set healthy boundaries and treat each other respectfully even when you disagree. Learn to love, and to love better.
March 21, 2018
Intended readership of Relationship Insights
Intended readership - anyone in a committed relationship, or hoping to turn their relationship into a commitment. No gender bias -  the full rainbow. Though dealing with serious issues, each Insight can be read in 10 mins, and actioned immediately. The language is conversational and the examples given are contemporary. 
April 15, 2018
Tennis, anyone? Keep the communication ball in play
The aim of tennis is to keep the ball in play; an exciting rally only happens when both players keep the ball in play. So, it takes both players to create a good rally. In relationships, you need to keep the communication ball in play. The ball is the substance of the relationship, which must be kept in play by both parties, with both giving something. What if one player was really slack, and just dribbled the ball? No rally. As a result, the other could not show his brilliance! This is the kind of communication to aim for! So how do you keep the ball in play in your relationships? How do you pay attention to the other and to your own play? How do you keep the energy of the relationship in motion?
April 18, 2018
How deep do you go for answers to relationship problems?
We all have the capacity to learn and to heal. But sometimes we need a catalyst to activate that healing. Sometimes we need only a small catalyst, and at other times we need a cataclysmic catalyst. This applies for the body, and it applies to our psychology. The need for a catalyst also applies to our relationships.